I've been contemplating for a few hours how to go about writing this post. What to say. How to say it. If I should post at all. Really. Wow. It's just A LOT.
It's been a big day. A big week really.
Monday: Lymph Node Biopsy.
Tuesday: Sore, but good. Trip to acupuncturist.
Wednesday: Lost my fluffy best friend of 15 years, Smokey. UGH.
Today: Phew boy...
Today, I got the results of Monday's biopsy. My parents came down for the "big reveal" and even though I went through all the possibilities in my head before this appointment...nothing really prepared me for the news I received. Cancer. It's back. It's in the lymph nodes and we really won't know for sure if it's also in my pelvis and my liver until we see how these "spots" respond to treatment.
Treatment. I will learn more tomorrow in my "new patient orientation". Heh. I feel like I should dress well and get a new trapper keeper and backpack for this. The hubs will be with me and together we will take notes and try to ask all the right questions. Inevitably, we will come home and have a gadzillion more...this seems to be the trend.
What I do know as of now is that I will start chemotherapy next week (Thursday to be exact). It will be a lovely cocktail of Paclitaxel and Carboplatin or, I guess, sometimes called "TaxolCarbo". This takes 4 hours and it will happen every 3 weeks. According to the doc, most people continue working their full-time jobs while on this treatment, so I am thinking that my unemployed tookus should be able to handle it. After 3 rounds (or what...6 weeks?), I will have a PET scan to verify that it's working...cause it's gonna. And then, continue the treatment or play around with it, if need be. Apparently, I will be losing the hair about 2 weeks in. I am still grappling with this. I do not think I will make a very pretty bald gal, so I am gonna have to find a good wig to rock. Yeah...call me vain...but I think this may be the hardest part for me. <rolling eyes at myself>
For some bizarre reason, I am mostly able to remove myself emotionally from this. I was like this with the first cancer "journey". I do not know if this is a good way to handle it or not and I am sure I will have plenty of moments when I will cry my eyes dry, but today. No tears. All business. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. But, we are doing this one day at a time, right?
Anyway...as is in my nature....I am working out a plan....lots of healthy healthy food, good consistent exercise, relaxation, acupuncture, the chemo, the support system, the whoopie pies, the prayers. I do very much wish I had my furry fluffball to snuggle with. I will have to settle for the Coby, El Sid and the husband. Maybe I can get him a nice fluffy coat to wear at cuddlin' time. Heh.
Dude...this was supposed to be a step-parenting blog...not a cancer blog!! Boy, I tell ya. Life throws some curveballs, no? Anyway...I am all outta words for now, but I'll be back! And I'll keep coming back again and again and again...cause that's just how I roll.
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