Thursday, October 20, 2011

Life as a Pool and "Get Heeled"

I am a week out from my first chemo treatment and I had a check-up today. My blood counts are all excellent. I still have my hair. And I am still feeling relatively good. Yay! 

So, I went to the pool today, but because I am having some lower back pain (probably from my first visit to the pool on Tuesday) I decided to strap on (heh) a flotation belt and try some deep-water running. I probably should have done a little research on this beforehand because I have no idea if I was even doing it correctly. But, I mean...how many ways can you run in the water? Still...I really wanted to shout out and ask someone "hey...am I doing this right"!?

Anyway...while running back and forth in the pool, I got to thinking cause...hey...there ain't much else to do when you are spinning your legs and moving like a snail. I was thinking about how this running through water thing was kind of like every running dream I have ever had. In my running dreams, I feel like I am struggling and pulling and dragging myself along...not making much headway but REALLY making an effort.  Pulling myself along with my arms grabbing at imaginary air balls or something. And then THAT got me thinking about how this struggle is a lot like life sometimes. A lot like MY life right now.

Right now, life is no jog in the park. Life is an uphill struggle. One day at a time. One hour, one minute, one second, one millisecond at a time. Sweet Jesus. But, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. The whole point of deep-water running is to build resistance and strength while still protecting your precious joints and bones. So that when you are well enough....you CAN easily run through the park. 

This is me now. Slowly...oh so slowly...building strength and stamina, so that when life isn't so hard I will be a bull out of the cage. I will be busting out in a full-on sprint. I will be unstoppable. Heck...I AM unstoppable...its just easier to catch me right now. Ha ha. This struggle in the water and in life will make me stronger. Because life is a mixed bag. Life is sometimes "easy like a Sunday morning" and life is sometimes like trying to run through water. A struggle, but if you keep at it, you will make it through. 

While I was thinking deep thoughts in the deep end of the pool, I also noticed there were a lot of signs hanging around that said "No holding breath" and "Prolonged and competitive breath-holding can be life-threatening", which got me thinking (here I go again with the life metaphors)...this is also SO TRUE of life. You have to remember to breathe. When things feel so out of control and crazy in your life...when nothing is going like you planned and there is nothing you can do to stop the world from spinning off its axis...sometimes...sometimes that is the ONLY thing you can do. Just breathe. If you don't...it could be life-threatening.

On a somewhat-related note (and I really hope you made it this far down the blog), a good friend of mine from The Job back in NC shaved her head for charity today. (For more info or to donate to Janice's team see: Get Heeled 5K (and Shave2Heal) ). I haven't cried a whole lot since this whole rhymeswithschmancer thing entered (or re-entered) my life. But, certain things really make me boo hoo. This is one of those things. Janice (I usually refrain from using names in my blog, but if you click on the link you will see her name anyway) tells me that I am her inspiration for doing this. That if it weren't for me and my struggle, her vanity would have stopped her from following through with the head shave. (By the way, I haven't seen it yet, but I hear that she looks really good!) Anyway...in the grand scheme of things and if I had a choice...I would really prefer to just be normal and not inspiring. LOL. But...here's the thing. Janice inspires ME. Seriously...if the tables were turned, I do not know that I would ever CHOOSE to give up my precious hair. A woman's hair, her vanity...these things are HUGE (to me anyway). This gesture is HUGE. Janice shaving her head somehow makes it easier for me to deal with my own impending baldness. If she can up and do this by choice...I can certainly handle nature's shave job. It is what it is. It will grow back. And it's for a good cause. It's for my life. It's for my family. It's for my friends and loved ones. It's for all the people who don't even know me, but pray for me anyway. It's for beautiful bald Janice. 

Dagnabbit, you guys! I am boohooing again. My blog is supposed to be funny!! I need to find some funny blog-fodder because I can't be drowning myself in tears and tissues. (For the record...these are happy tears, but COME ON...y'all stop being so great!!)


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