The Unacknowledged Sneeze

So today in church, I sneezed. Big deal. People sneeze all the time. But, whilst I sneezed, my husband sat beside me...stone-cold silent. Really? I can't get a little "bless you"? "Gesundheit"? Not even a whispered "you are SOOO good-looking" a la Seinfeld?

On the ride home from church, I broached the subject of The Unacknowledged Sneeze. 

Me: Honey, I sneezed in church today and you didn't say anything.

Him: You sneezed? When?

Me: During the sermon.

Him: Oh. I never bless anyone. I don't see the point.

Me: But, we were in church. In front of people. Now people know that my husband doesn't bless my sneezes.

Him: I don't see what the problem is. 

Me: But it is rude not to bless someone when they sneeze.

Him: Why? Because it is important for me to acknowledge that you got a piece of benign dust up your nostril and expelled it?

Me:  Don't you appreciate it when someone says "bless you" after you sneeze?

Him: No. Because after someone says "bless you", I feel obligated to say "thank you" and that is just silly cause I don't even really know what I am thanking them for.

Me: <Heavy sigh>

After this exchange, we went on to further debate the merits or lack thereof of saying "bless you" or "God bless you" after another person sneezes. My take is that, regardless of its origin...whether it started as a response to the need to bless those suffering the bubonic plague some 1500 years ago or a shield against the entrance of evil into your soul as your heartbeat stopped during a sneeze...it is now, in this day and age, all a matter of etiquette. Pure and simple good manners.

After a quick search on The Google; however, I find that this is not an uncommon debate. While there are a lot of people who are offended by a lack of "bless yous" and feel that it is simply rude not to say it, there are an equal number of internet users who have sentiments similar to my husband's. Here are some of their comments:

• "You sneeze, spreading your germs all up and around and on me and I am supposed to thank you by blessing you?"
• "I could care less whether someone sneezes or not."
• "No one says anything when you cough, so why should they say anything when you sneeze? It's the only bodily emission that apparently deserves public comment."
• ""Jesus Christ, why the f@ck don'tcha cover yer goddamn face you pig" always works for me. Guess it depends on the crowd you hang with."
• "My boss has the annoying habit of saying Bless You everytime I sneeze, and I feel I have to say thank you and excuse me at the same time. Or she will say GodBlessYouGodBlessYouGodBlessYou really fast to cover the three sneeze progression...it annoys me no end. The blessing isn't what bothers me...it's the unnecessary calling attention to the sneeze. I'd rather people just ignored it."
• "I've been in the grocery store, late at night, the only soul for aisles, and sneezed, and had someone halfway across the store shout out "Bless You!" and I have to shout back "Thank You!". Very annoying."

Gosh...I have always been THAT person who says multiple "bless yous" to multiple sneezes or will shout a "bless you" across a room. I just feel like its friendly and kind of me. Now I feel confused. I am rude and annoying for calling out a sneeze?  If so...I don't think I can stop.  I can't. I HAVE to say "bless you". It's just there. I have to. Please don't hate me for acknowledging your sneeze.

By the way, after arriving home, I sneezed twice in the house. 

My husband: Bless you. Bless you.

Me: Ohmygosh...THANK YOU, honey!

Him: You realize I was being ironic, right? Those were "ironic bless yous".

Me: <SIGH>