I have been pondering this morning my husband's (and perhaps other men's) inability to see things that are RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FACE. What IS the deal here? This morning, for example, I noticed that my husband was eating two pieces of dry toast for breakfast.
Him: We need milk.
Me: There is a brand new carton on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator.
Him: Oh. We need syrup.
Me: There is a brand new bottle of syrup right behind the almost empty syrup bottle.
Him: Oh. Hmm...how 'bout that!
I shared this story with my mother on the phone later and she, in turn, shared a story about a conversation she and my father had today because he couldn't find the mail key...which was hanging IN THE SAME PLACE it always hangs, but because the attached key chain was turned backwards, and he therefore could not recognize the insignia, he determined that the mail key was in fact missing. And that, of course, this was my mother's fault.
It got me thinking about some other recent conversations with my husband.
During dinner Sunday night:
Me: Why did you get a clean spatula out to serve yourself the roasted potatoes? What is wrong with the one I used while cooking?
Him: Oh. I didn't see it.
Me: You didn't see it? It's RIGHT NEXT TO THE BAKING SHEET. (*It was TOUCHING the baking sheet*)
Him: Oh. You should have put it ON TOP of the baking sheet.
Me: <eye roll>
During another recent evening meal:
Me: Aren't you going to put dressing on your salad?
Him: Oh. But you didn't set any dressing out on the counter.
Me: Heavy sigh.
It leaves me wondering how these men could possibly function without a woman in their lives. Granted, when my husband was single, his refrigerator was more of an empty vessel of cold air than a storage place for food and beverage, so it wasn't hard to lose anything in there. But, the sheer number of times he has stated "I don't know how...can you do it for me" or advised me that we needed something that was present in his DIRECT LINE OF VISION leads me to believe that without women, men may just very well wither away...un-fed, clothes un-laundered (does my husband even know where the laundry room is?), clean dishes on the counter because they can't figure out where to put them in the cabinets and drawers. Unable to pack up leftovers because after 18 times of SHOWING them where the food storage items are, they still can't find them....sigh.
So...I love my husband and he works hard to bring home the bacon (mmm.....bacon), but how did he survive on his own? Was he completely capable as a single man and then suddenly forgot basic observation and survival skills when I entered his life? Why was he able to prepare and cook a delicious meal on the night he proposed, but now married cannot turn on the oven without it catching fire? Why can't he see things? Does anyone have the answers to these perplexing questions? Is it just me? Or is this a mystery to all women?
I know this is VERY tardy...but, hey, I just found your blog....and this is cracking me up! I believe my hubby and yours are twins separated at birth! [: I KNOW he could not survive without a woman; he is so helpless. [: And no, I don't need to feel that needed--but to handle it without going crazy, I have to look at it as my opportunity to serve him. Now I wonder what he does for me that has him scratching his head and rolling his eyes the same way? [:
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