I should really not be trusted with the whole juice fast thing. The whole point of yesterday's 24-hour juice fast (which is part of Kris Carr's Crazy Sexy lifestyle...and those of you who don't know who Kris Carr is...she is one of my wellness warrior gurus and she is AWESOME and I lurve her so so much), was to give my digestive system a break and just basically "inject" nutrients right into my tissues, making me all juicy and healthy and OM.
However...by nightfall...as my husband will attest...I was the opposite of OM. I was a complete and utter terroristic (I think I made that word up) wreck. If there was hair on my head, it would have been torn out. If my eyes had shooting darts coming from them, my husband would have had ninety-gadzillion holes in his body. I. HATED. EVERYTHING. My head was pounding. My belly felt queasy. My emotional stability....all time low.
On top of this...the juice fast day coincided with my CT scan prep...which involved downing 30 gallons (really 20 oz, I think) of barium sulfate suspension within a 15-minute time frame. Once at night and once the next morning.
(*Side note: I just decided to look up barium sulfate...and did you know (according to The Wikipedia), barium sulfate is also used as a component of oil well-drilling fluid, for making green and "strobe" pyrotechnic products, and as a component of white pigment for paints?! No wonder it tastes so delicious. Hack.)
Anyway...after ingesting a large quantity of tylenol PM in hopes of blacking out and forgetting how miserable I was feeling, I went to sleep and then...I woke up early the next morning even more miserable. Only now...because of the CT scan...all that lay before me for the next several hours was no food and another 30-gallon bottle of barium sulfate that I was to consume between 8:45 and 9 am. Suh-weet...I couldn't wait to get this day started!
Fast forward to 8:45am. I am driving to my appointment with my large bottle of well-drilling fluid in hand, singing Christmas tunes and chugging as best I could. Halfway through said bottle...ooh boy...I did not feel well. I was looking for places to pull over (just in case) and when I arrived at the doctor's office, I spent my waiting time trying to figure out the best place to vomit in front of all these other patients that would involve the least amount of attention. Thankfully...I made it through the waiting period AND the scan without upchucking...though it was really touch and go for awhile.
After the scan...I was starving. And when I say starving, I mean RAVENOUS. And when I say ravenous, I mean was was ready to eat old dirty french fry crumbs off the floor of my car. But, I am being a wellness warrior, so I left the fries alone. I passed by Krispy Kreme and McDonalds and I swung by Starbucks (I know...not really healthy but...whatever). I got myself a veggie breakfast sammich and a tall-nonfat-peppermint-mocha-hold-the-whip. And...OH MY GOD...was it the best thing I ever tasted. OM.
But, here is the second part of why I can't be trusted on a juice fast...because then I went home and I snacked and I snacked. Mind you...it was veggies and more veggies and some salsa and chips and and...I snacked. A lot. I totally sabotaged any healthy benefit I may have gotten from resting my digestive tract yesterday. Now, I just feel bloated and fat and uncomfortable. Doh.
I think in the future, I am going to have to skip the weekly juice fast. It's just not for me. I am sure being all "prednizoned" out, which in itself makes you fat and hungry all the time, didn't really help the fasting...but I think my emotional stability and my marriage will thank me for skipping this next time.
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