Well, yesterday ended the Thanksgiving break visit with my stepdaughter. I would say that on a scale of 1-100, it was at about a 97.75. Pretty successful visit overall. My stepdaughter is growing up so fast! I swear she grows by feet each time I see her and she is becoming such a sweet young lady. But, there is one thing that hit me hard this visit...
The visit did not start out very well. I mean aside from my internal rage at the traffic and being stuck in the car for like 37 bazillion hours, the transition into our home again was a little rough.
It was late, it had been a long day, she was sleepy and all she wanted........was her Mom. Despite all of our decidedly wonderful and virtuous qualities, neither my husband nor I fit the "Mommy" bill. I'm not gonna lie...my stepdaughter can be dramatic. Dramatic--to the Nth degree--dramatic. But I could feel that night that her angst was completely authentic. I know what it is to want my Mom. Nobody else will do. You get that homesick feeling in the pit of your tummy. You know what I mean, ladies, don't you? And seeing her cry made me feel like my own heart may just burst into a million little pieces...not because I felt so helpless and inadequate (which, of course, I did) but because I am a girl with a Mom, too. I get it. And when you want your Mom...a hug and attempts at comforting from your Stepmom...is not even close to good enough. I felt that old internal role confusion again. Where do I fit into this little girl's world? What do I do to make this better? What do I do when there really is nothing to do to make this better? And so I left her bedroom and I cried too.
So, then...my husband had two crying ladies on his hands. The estrogen level in the house was at like Code-Red HIGH. There was an intense expression of fear on his face at not knowing what to do with all this emotional turmoil and angst. If there was a bomb shelter or panic room in our house, I am pretty sure that is where he would have fled to.
Thankfully, a good night's rest for all of us cured our woes and we were able to move past Mommy-angst and onto celebrating the greatest holiday ever invented (with the exception of Festivus, of course).
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday and found something, no matter how small, to be thankful for.
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