And so it goes...

So...the summer has ended and my stepdaughter has returned to her hometown to be with her mom for the school year. I would be lying if I said I had been fully prepared and excited at the prospect of having a child with us 24/7 for the summer, but I would also be lying now if I said I didn't miss that little stinker now that she is gone.

My husband is very dedicated to his new job, which is a great thing considering that is why we uprooted our lives, but it also means that he works a lot and that I spend a lot of time alone now. I have always always loved my "me time", but the phrase "too much of a good thing" comes to mind right now. It is a struggle for me not to pounce on him the minute he walks through the front door, begging and pleading for attention and acknowledgement of the things I have "accomplished" in his absence. Mostly, this is a lost cause, but I suppose this has always been the plight of the woman. Sigh.

Alone, unemployed, unacknowledged...I do find myself struggling with the old demons of depression. Questioning my purpose, the meaning of life, the end all be all of the what is. This is not to say that I am being swallowed up by depression...not even close. I'm happy. I'm just...lost? Nay...disoriented. I've been removed from all that I had become familiar with and comfortable with. Life, once again, threw me a curveball in the form of love for another human being and the committment that comes along with marriage and for the first time in my life...I had to be selfless and give up my own course of adventure to embark on someone else's. I know this is not a bad thing...but it is not an easy and swift transition to adapt to. It's a process and I am 100% at the very beginning of understanding and embracing it.

Last week, I had a CT scan of my abdomen and pelvis. The results showed some junk that may not necessarily belong there. As you might imagine, this adds a whole new dimension to my disoriented state of being. Facing this unknown obstacle, which may really turn out to be a non-issue, makes me feel grateful that I am not employed (I can focus on getting this resolved) and that I am closer to my family and friends in PA (my support system). Perhaps it is true what they say: "Everything happens for a reason".

Regardless...summer ends...autumn begins. In like an earthquake, out like a hurricane. Heh. And so it goes...