Why I Am Not Allowed to Touch Anything

For the past 2 weeks, the 3 of us have been living in a furnished one-bedroom high-rise apartment. I'd like to emphasize the one-bedroom part here because this was not/is not my ideal living situation. But, to my husband's credit, it IS temporary, it IS much cheaper and it really hasn't been as bad as I imagined it would be. 

(*Sidenote: I have had the sliding glass door to our apartment unit balcony open all day to let in the pleasant fresh breeze...and once every hour or so, I get a waft of marijuana smoke through the door. Ah apartment living. I wonder what apartment its coming from? I bet they have a good stock of snacks...)

Anyway, I digress...the reason I started typing today's blog is because I got bored with my previous task. You see...I have spent the last 20 minutes or so (give our take an hour) attempting unsuccessfully to open the bedroom window. At first it was about the fresh air (and no, not the Mary Jane wafting in), but then it just became a task of will. A fight between myself and The Window. I fear I have been defeated. The Window has won.  And given my previous history of breaking things in this apartment, I decided it would be best for me to take a break from this endeavor and accept my defeat before I did some serious damage. What have I broken in the apartment, you ask? Umm...pretty much EVERYTHING.I.TOUCH. To the point where my stepdaughter informed me that I am not allowed to touch things. We will have to wait for daddy to come home and do it. 

Here's the list:

1. Door handle to the sliding glass door (Popped right off while I tried to open the balcony door about 10 minutes after arriving). Cracked me up, but no one else found it funny. Hmph.
2. Thingy you turn to open the venetian blinds and slide said blinds to left to allow light into the apartment (just detached itself right into the palm of my hand and despite multiple tries, I could not re-attach). My husband re-attached it in about 4 seconds flat and I haven't touched it since.
3. The vacuum cleaner. (Vacuuming away and the rubber belt thingamajig popped right off). To MY credit this time, I fixed it myself and I do believe that said vacuum is working even better than before). Also to my credit, I vacuumed.
4. A glass. Ok, my husband doesn't know about this and he would never have noticed if I didn't mention it here on this blog because he is infamously unobservant (sorry, honey) so I have no clue why I am outting myself. But, I learned that you should not stack glass glasses (or perhaps the specific kind of glasses that came with the apartment because when you try to unstack them, they will stick and when you force them apart, a shard of glass from the top of the inner glass with propel from the glasses and try to stab you. (Also...to my husband...if you are reading...before you judge, let me remind you of the $10 wine glass you broke in NC and never told me about until I realized that one had "gone missing"). Love you.

Today, I almost ALMOST washed the remote control. It seemed to have somehow gotten wrapped up in the sheets of our bed and wound up in the washing machine. I suspect my husband, who loves the remote control so much he panics if he can't see it, may have cuddled with it last night while sleeping. Luckily, I made a great save because if something happened to the remote...that would have been the end of me. Seriously.

Two nights ago, I spilled not only a full glass of water but also a half glass of red wine (I spilled the water while making a save for the wine glass) all over the table and the game of Life and the floor and the chair. Huge disaster. I am actually pretty amazed at how calm everyone stayed. We all pitched in to clean it up and then continued with our game. My new family must be getting used to my way of adding excitement to their lives. :o)